It’s about that time of year… you know the time: you start to realize you’re about to turn another year older and suddenly an entirely new level of crisis and panic starts to sink in?Β  Yep, I’m about two months out from thirty, and to be honest, I’m having some hardcore mixed feelings over it.


On one hand, holy fuck. How am I this old? Seriously. Do you know what I saw at the liquor store the other day? People born in 1995 can legally drink now. What the actual hell. I just don’t feel okay with that information. In fact, I’m sorry I wrote it down. Most of you reading this probably didn’t want to be reminded either.

Now, on the other hand, the more logical hand, I’m thinking it really is just a number. You’re only as old as you allow yourself to be, right? I am far from an adult in… most (?) ways. For example, as I type this blog post, it is 6pm: I am wearing the clothes of yesterday, I haven’t brushed my hair, and I’ve only consumed tea.

Last year I made a list of 15 reasons why I would still not adult even when I turned 29. I thought that since I’m hitting the big 3-oh soon, it would be fun to make a new list. But it’s probably just an extension of the old list… I’m rather set in my ways. Something about an old dog and learning new tricks.

Fun Hair

Even when I’m 30, I’m still going to:

  1. hate laundry with a burning passion and avoid it at all costs.
  2. insist that candy is part of the food pyramid.
  3. have really “interesting” hair
  4. that I don’t brush
  5. or wash all that often.
  6. live by which ever time zone works to my advantage.
  7. play my music way too loud.
  8. use “inappropriate” language in inappropriate places.
  9. believe that words are just words,
  10. and think “fuck” should be no more offensive than “frick.”
  11. make half ass grocery shopping lists.
  12. ignore the list completely & buy nothing but “children’s” cereal.
  13. (on that note) eat food that is supposedly meant for children.
  14. skip breakfast, and probably lunch…
  15. call over and over if you don’t answer me.
  16. text & text, then snapchat, then instagram you. (how busy are you?)
  17. take pictures of the public toilets I use while traveling.
  18. buy lots and lots of dessert, because left overs are always good.
  19. love Taylor Swift,
  20. Justin Bieber,
  21. country music & The Weeknd.
  22. obsessively watch YouTube for hours on end.
  23. care way too much about things that normal people don’t care about.
  24. put important relationships before myself.
  25. treat Kalie like a person and actual member of the family.
  26. say bless you when she sneezes & excuses me when she’s in my way.
  27. sing Cher to anyone that will listen,
  28. in a Just Jack accent,
  29. even if “Life After Love” comes on in the grocery store.
  30. generally, just do whatever the hell I want.


Are you an adult? Are you good at it?

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